She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
