i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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