whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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