don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
