i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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