"it" just moved
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Randomize
