On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You know, be my cock's hype man.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
