if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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