I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize