Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.