That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
