Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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