i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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