you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
