Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
