my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
