I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
