Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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