I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize