An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
