Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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