she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
