i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
