Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
