Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
