I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
