I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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