Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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