no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize