Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
