obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
