You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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