did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
