im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
