i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
