I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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