he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
