i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
