final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
