He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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