you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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