I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
