One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Apparently you make a good broom.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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