All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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