This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
