:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
