So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
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