why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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