OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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