I hope mine doesn't look like that
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
