3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
