So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
