i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
