i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
false alarm. still invincible.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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