jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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