I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize