gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You can't just leave with hair like that
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
