Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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