I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
