dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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