are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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