is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
