make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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