All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
